No. J2K1-100

The other day I was out shopping for cheap socks when I stumbled across a superb, Christly triptyche, an enormous thing encased in cardboard that barely fit into my trunk. And what's more, it enforces the obvious, hidden truth that JC was a black man. (Though He could be Armenian. Or something.)

Now, I could reveal all three individual pieces, but why shoot my heavenly wad all at once? So here is the first of three installments, a somewhat concerned, nay, uptight Christ. But then who wouldn't be a little rattled; one minute you're dying an incredibly painful death nailed to a cross, the next you're rising into the clouds with Jonathan Livingston Seagull.